Thursday, May 29, 2008
Preliminary Team Report
On Sunday May 25, 2008 the Field Team reported back to the church about the mission trip to Rahab's House. Each member chose one aspect or area of the trip which they wished to speak about. An audio recording of this is available from our church website http://fairviewchurch.ca/index.cfm?i=4385&mid=18&showid=6107
Re-entry - Grant
When the astronauts of the space program return to earth they call it re-entry. From Mercury to Gemini to Apollo to the Space Shuttle and International Space Station missions all astronauts go through re-entry. Re-entry from space involves all the necessary preparation and then the intentionality of “heading home.” The transition is from one world to another – from weightlessness to experiencing the full forces of gravity. As the space craft ploughs through the atmosphere and begins to slow down the astronauts experience increased G-forces – they experience extreme pressure. They are also cut off from communications because of the ionization occurring around the craft. Finally they land (or splashdown like in the old days) and they are back home – home to a world that is much as they left it but a world they see as very different from their experiences.
This has been my 5th re-entry from Cambodia and each one has been a different experience. As I reflected on my return home this time I was reminded of the astronaut re-entry process. The experience “away” is in many ways “other-worldly.” Cambodia is a very foreign culture to us. It is also a country that was dismantled to the point of the stone-age by the Khmer Rouge and in the last 30 years has clawed its way into the 21st century. Svay Pak is another world itself where children are a commodity to be bought and sold and used and abused at the sick whims of adults who see these children as objects to be used for their own obscene gratification.
I have returned to the world I left but I’ve been in another world. I’ve experienced the increased pressures in returning to the “regular world” while still holding this “other world” in my soul. Those increased pressures we often refer to as culture shock and reverse culture shock but it is more than just that because our experiences were not just of another culture but of a very real evil. The increased pressure – the increased G-force – has been difficult.
In re-entry astronauts also experience communication “blackout.” As much as they might want to communicate with Mission Control and as much as Mission Control wants to communicate with them, they cannot. Much of the Field Team has experienced “communication blackout.” Some times it is too difficult to express what we’ve experienced and some times we just haven’t processed it enough to be able to express it – some things we never will. It is also difficult for the Home Team who want to hear but who are also going through something of overload as they’ve carried on in the regular world and supported the Field Team and families throughout. But there others who only want to hear that we had a “nice” trip and close themselves off from the pain of what we would share.
I’ve been in another world and returned to the regular world. I am so thankful to be back with my family. My family has always been very high in my priorities. This time in Cambodia has only served to reinforce the importance of my family to me and my relationship with each of these people I love so much.
Of course return to the regular world also means dealing with all the regular world stuff – this is my place of struggle. After being immersed in a world where every move is done with intentionality and is therefore meaningful, returning to the regular world to find conflict over the insignificant, debate over trifling matters and valuable time spent on self-gratification…well let’s just say my patience is a little thin at the moment. I am not suggesting that only things like the child-sex-trade are important but this experience does have an impact on one’s priorities.
We are home but our lives are changed.
We are home but we cannot look at the regular world the ways we did just a few weeks ago.
This has been my 5th re-entry from Cambodia and each one has been a different experience. As I reflected on my return home this time I was reminded of the astronaut re-entry process. The experience “away” is in many ways “other-worldly.” Cambodia is a very foreign culture to us. It is also a country that was dismantled to the point of the stone-age by the Khmer Rouge and in the last 30 years has clawed its way into the 21st century. Svay Pak is another world itself where children are a commodity to be bought and sold and used and abused at the sick whims of adults who see these children as objects to be used for their own obscene gratification.
I have returned to the world I left but I’ve been in another world. I’ve experienced the increased pressures in returning to the “regular world” while still holding this “other world” in my soul. Those increased pressures we often refer to as culture shock and reverse culture shock but it is more than just that because our experiences were not just of another culture but of a very real evil. The increased pressure – the increased G-force – has been difficult.
In re-entry astronauts also experience communication “blackout.” As much as they might want to communicate with Mission Control and as much as Mission Control wants to communicate with them, they cannot. Much of the Field Team has experienced “communication blackout.” Some times it is too difficult to express what we’ve experienced and some times we just haven’t processed it enough to be able to express it – some things we never will. It is also difficult for the Home Team who want to hear but who are also going through something of overload as they’ve carried on in the regular world and supported the Field Team and families throughout. But there others who only want to hear that we had a “nice” trip and close themselves off from the pain of what we would share.
I’ve been in another world and returned to the regular world. I am so thankful to be back with my family. My family has always been very high in my priorities. This time in Cambodia has only served to reinforce the importance of my family to me and my relationship with each of these people I love so much.
Of course return to the regular world also means dealing with all the regular world stuff – this is my place of struggle. After being immersed in a world where every move is done with intentionality and is therefore meaningful, returning to the regular world to find conflict over the insignificant, debate over trifling matters and valuable time spent on self-gratification…well let’s just say my patience is a little thin at the moment. I am not suggesting that only things like the child-sex-trade are important but this experience does have an impact on one’s priorities.
We are home but our lives are changed.We are home but we cannot look at the regular world the ways we did just a few weeks ago.
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Kelvin's post #11 "Re-entry"
We have been back in Canada now for over a week and have settled back into what we consider to be "normal life". I have been thinking a lot about that in the past few days and now realize that what we have is really not normal. We live in a place where our landscape is green and full, our roads are paved, we don't need razor wire fences and pad locks around our homes and property, we have proper garbage pickup and disposal,we can drink fresh water straight from the tap, when we flush our toilets (with fresh water!) the waste actually goes away to be treated and doesn't just run a few feet away to drain into a swamp behind the house. These are just a few of the things that I have always taken for "normal" having grow up with it all. We are extremely blessd living in Canada and I will never take it for granted again.
The way that most of the adults interact with their kids is also a lot different, I never saw any of them playing or showing any kind of affection to the kids . I was told by one of the locals that as babies the kids are considered cute but once a child is able to walk and talk the parents lose interest in them (Barb's little sunshine girl and her mom were an exception). Is this because they do not know how to interact with their kids? When the parents were kids themselves it would have been around 30 years ago and alot of them have probably had to grow up on their own because their parents would have been taken away or killed. I do not know this to be the fact but given the countries history it is probably a fairly good assumption.
Another thought that ran through my head was that this may be a way for parents to disconnect themselves from their kid's knowing that some day soon they would be selling their little bodies to the highest bidder. If these parents have any kind of heart it must hurt knowing the torture the kid's are having to endure. It would kill me to know something like this was happening to my kid's.
The one big question I have is how did a little one lane dirt road town like Svay Pak end up being one of the worlds capitals for child sex? As was said on Sunday there is no sign on the side of the highway saying "Svay Pak, turn left 200 meters ahead".
There are things that go on in this world I will never understand and this is one of them. I just hope that this little project that our team has been a part of will grow into something that will push out the evil that lurks in the alleys of Svay Pak.
May God bless the people that will be working out of Rahabs house and may this place become a blessing to the comunity, especially to the kids.
Kelvin
The way that most of the adults interact with their kids is also a lot different, I never saw any of them playing or showing any kind of affection to the kids . I was told by one of the locals that as babies the kids are considered cute but once a child is able to walk and talk the parents lose interest in them (Barb's little sunshine girl and her mom were an exception). Is this because they do not know how to interact with their kids? When the parents were kids themselves it would have been around 30 years ago and alot of them have probably had to grow up on their own because their parents would have been taken away or killed. I do not know this to be the fact but given the countries history it is probably a fairly good assumption.
Another thought that ran through my head was that this may be a way for parents to disconnect themselves from their kid's knowing that some day soon they would be selling their little bodies to the highest bidder. If these parents have any kind of heart it must hurt knowing the torture the kid's are having to endure. It would kill me to know something like this was happening to my kid's.
The one big question I have is how did a little one lane dirt road town like Svay Pak end up being one of the worlds capitals for child sex? As was said on Sunday there is no sign on the side of the highway saying "Svay Pak, turn left 200 meters ahead".
There are things that go on in this world I will never understand and this is one of them. I just hope that this little project that our team has been a part of will grow into something that will push out the evil that lurks in the alleys of Svay Pak.
May God bless the people that will be working out of Rahabs house and may this place become a blessing to the comunity, especially to the kids.
Kelvin
Monday, May 26, 2008
Our Early (EARLY) Morning Reflections in Cambodia (Kit)
As requested, here is the list of the Bible verses we read and were sustained by during our time in Cambodia. I deliberately chose familiar and much-loved verses/passages for these times. We followed with a time of prayer with a different team member 'closing' for us each day.
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand
Micah 6:8
He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
Psalm 46:10
Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.
1 Corinthians 3:16
Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?
Psalm 25: 4-5
Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.
1 Peter 5: 6-7
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Proverbs 16:3
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.
Romans 12: 1a ( from The Message)
So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering.
Hebrews 12:1-2 (after briefly talking about the wonderful catalogue of ‘the faithful’ in Chapter 11. The picture is of a race, not a sprint, but an ‘in-it-for-the-long-haul’ run. And I just HAD to slip my beloved Hebrews 11-12 in somewhere!
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Psalm 28:7
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
Joshua 2: 1-13
Then Joshua son of Nun secretly sent two spies from Shittim. "Go, look over the land," he said, "especially Jericho." So they went and entered the house of a prostitute named Rahab and stayed there. 2 The king of Jericho was told, "Look! Some of the Israelites have come here tonight to spy out the land." 3 So the king of Jericho sent this message to Rahab: "Bring out the men who came to you and entered your house, because they have come to spy out the whole land." 4 But the woman had taken the two men and hidden them. She said, "Yes, the men came to me, but I did not know where they had come from. 5 At dusk, when it was time to close the city gate, the men left. I don't know which way they went. Go after them quickly. You may catch up with them." 6 (But she had taken them up to the roof and hidden them under the stalks of flax she had laid out on the roof.) 7 So the men set out in pursuit of the spies on the road that leads to the fords of the Jordan, and as soon as the pursuers had gone out, the gate was shut.
8 Before the spies lay down for the night, she went up on the roof 9 and said to them, "I know that the LORD has given this land to you and that a great fear of you has fallen on us, so that all who live in this country are melting in fear because of you. 10 We have heard how the LORD dried up the water of the Red Sea for you when you came out of Egypt, and what you did to Sihon and Og, the two kings of the Amorites east of the Jordan, whom you completely destroyed. 11 When we heard of it, our hearts melted and everyone's courage failed because of you, for the LORD your God is God in heaven above and on the earth below. 12 Now then, please swear to me by the LORD that you will show kindness to my family, because I have shown kindness to you. Give me a sure sign 13 that you will spare the lives of my father and mother, my brothers and sisters, and all who belong to them, and that you will save us from death."
1 Peter 3:14 (this was when Jeff was so ill and in hospital).
But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. Do not fear what [others] fear - do not be frightened. Take courage.
2 Peter 1:2-8
Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.
3His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Isaiah 41:10
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand
Micah 6:8
He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
Psalm 46:10
Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.
1 Corinthians 3:16
Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?
Psalm 25: 4-5
Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.
1 Peter 5: 6-7
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
Proverbs 16:3
Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.
Romans 12: 1a ( from The Message)
So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering.
Hebrews 12:1-2 (after briefly talking about the wonderful catalogue of ‘the faithful’ in Chapter 11. The picture is of a race, not a sprint, but an ‘in-it-for-the-long-haul’ run. And I just HAD to slip my beloved Hebrews 11-12 in somewhere!
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Psalm 28:7
The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
Joshua 2: 1-13
Then Joshua son of Nun secretly sent two spies from Shittim. "Go, look over the land," he said, "especially Jericho." So they went and entered the house of a prostitute named Rahab and stayed there. 2 The king of Jericho was told, "Look! Some of the Israelites have come here tonight to spy out the land." 3 So the king of Jericho sent this message to Rahab: "Bring out the men who came to you and entered your house, because they have come to spy out the whole land." 4 But the woman had taken the two men and hidden them. She said, "Yes, the men came to me, but I did not know where they had come from. 5 At dusk, when it was time to close the city gate, the men left. I don't know which way they went. Go after them quickly. You may catch up with them." 6 (But she had taken them up to the roof and hidden them under the stalks of flax she had laid out on the roof.) 7 So the men set out in pursuit of the spies on the road that leads to the fords of the Jordan, and as soon as the pursuers had gone out, the gate was shut.
8 Before the spies lay down for the night, she went up on the roof 9 and said to them, "I know that the LORD has given this land to you and that a great fear of you has fallen on us, so that all who live in this country are melting in fear because of you. 10 We have heard how the LORD dried up the water of the Red Sea for you when you came out of Egypt, and what you did to Sihon and Og, the two kings of the Amorites east of the Jordan, whom you completely destroyed. 11 When we heard of it, our hearts melted and everyone's courage failed because of you, for the LORD your God is God in heaven above and on the earth below. 12 Now then, please swear to me by the LORD that you will show kindness to my family, because I have shown kindness to you. Give me a sure sign 13 that you will spare the lives of my father and mother, my brothers and sisters, and all who belong to them, and that you will save us from death."
1 Peter 3:14 (this was when Jeff was so ill and in hospital).
But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. Do not fear what [others] fear - do not be frightened. Take courage.
2 Peter 1:2-8
Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.
3His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.
5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
Am I Missing Anything? by Barb
Well, there are a couple of answers to that question:
1. Traffic – do I miss the crazy zany traffic of Phnom Phen? Well …. The streets here seem very empty and there is no challenge when you come to a cross street – green means go and red is stop; driving here is very orderly and there is no room for a challenge - folk don’t like you crossing the yellow line or white ones for that matter. Yes, I do miss not having the thrill of a lifetime going to and from work each day!
2. Blogging? ……. Not sure, but don’t laugh you guys – I’ve decided to buy a laptop! No Kidding! For those of you who don’t understand this – I was the worst blogger of the 10!
3. My Roommate, Kit? Yes. For not knowing each other prior to this trip, we did okey! I miss our glass of coke at the end of the day and our chats; hearing you say “okey, I’m turning my ears off now”; your caring and concern for all of the guys, your sense of humor and your ability to take a couple of verses and produce the most eloquent sermon!
4. The "Guys"? Far more than I ever thought! So different, so diverse, so very hard working, yet so compassionate about the work they were doing. Yes, I really do miss them all.
5. Rahab’s House – do I miss the scraping and scraping, the Polysporin, the kids playing, watching Richard playing soccer or being a merry-go-round; do I miss the hugs and infectious smile of Sunshine and her family – yes, more than anything.
6. Morning Prayer and Evening Chats – yes, that brought us all together and kept us focused as a team and as individuals
7. Rice and noodles, noodles and rice – no …… not really
8. Meeting Clay, Christa, Helen (from Aim, IJM, Chab DaC) and everyone from ARC; seeing Marie Ens and Rescue and meeting all those that benefit from her place of rescue – it was such a privilege to meet and see firsthand the difference they are making to so many lives in Cambodia. They are living Jesus every day, all day, 24/7.
9. Those amazing coffees every morning? – oh yeah – many thank yous Clay They were totally amazing!
10. Do I miss my little Sunshine family – yes, absolutely – every day and many times a day I think of them
11. Would I do it all over again? Yes, in a heartbeat.
And now, back at home …… what happens from here? To be honest, I’m not entirely sure. The 2 weeks in SP were life changing and are extremely difficult to translate into words – there is so much in my heart and thoughts that words by themselves can’t explain. The sites, sounds, feelings of Cambodia pop into my life here in Vancouver at any time of the day or night and give a kind of “home-sick” feeling. Only the Lord knows for sure what lies ahead and I leave it all in His hands, knowing that His ways are perfect and He is in control.
Thank you to everyone at Fairview and to my family and friends for all of your support.
Thank you to all of the folk in Cambodia – Clay, Christa, Helen, Marie and the Cambodian workers that we had the privilege of meeting – you all touched my life in ways you can't imagine.
Richest blessings to each of you.
Ah-Koon.
1. Traffic – do I miss the crazy zany traffic of Phnom Phen? Well …. The streets here seem very empty and there is no challenge when you come to a cross street – green means go and red is stop; driving here is very orderly and there is no room for a challenge - folk don’t like you crossing the yellow line or white ones for that matter. Yes, I do miss not having the thrill of a lifetime going to and from work each day!
2. Blogging? ……. Not sure, but don’t laugh you guys – I’ve decided to buy a laptop! No Kidding! For those of you who don’t understand this – I was the worst blogger of the 10!
3. My Roommate, Kit? Yes. For not knowing each other prior to this trip, we did okey! I miss our glass of coke at the end of the day and our chats; hearing you say “okey, I’m turning my ears off now”; your caring and concern for all of the guys, your sense of humor and your ability to take a couple of verses and produce the most eloquent sermon!
4. The "Guys"? Far more than I ever thought! So different, so diverse, so very hard working, yet so compassionate about the work they were doing. Yes, I really do miss them all.
5. Rahab’s House – do I miss the scraping and scraping, the Polysporin, the kids playing, watching Richard playing soccer or being a merry-go-round; do I miss the hugs and infectious smile of Sunshine and her family – yes, more than anything.
6. Morning Prayer and Evening Chats – yes, that brought us all together and kept us focused as a team and as individuals
7. Rice and noodles, noodles and rice – no …… not really
8. Meeting Clay, Christa, Helen (from Aim, IJM, Chab DaC) and everyone from ARC; seeing Marie Ens and Rescue and meeting all those that benefit from her place of rescue – it was such a privilege to meet and see firsthand the difference they are making to so many lives in Cambodia. They are living Jesus every day, all day, 24/7.
9. Those amazing coffees every morning? – oh yeah – many thank yous Clay They were totally amazing!
10. Do I miss my little Sunshine family – yes, absolutely – every day and many times a day I think of them
11. Would I do it all over again? Yes, in a heartbeat.
And now, back at home …… what happens from here? To be honest, I’m not entirely sure. The 2 weeks in SP were life changing and are extremely difficult to translate into words – there is so much in my heart and thoughts that words by themselves can’t explain. The sites, sounds, feelings of Cambodia pop into my life here in Vancouver at any time of the day or night and give a kind of “home-sick” feeling. Only the Lord knows for sure what lies ahead and I leave it all in His hands, knowing that His ways are perfect and He is in control.
Thank you to everyone at Fairview and to my family and friends for all of your support.
Thank you to all of the folk in Cambodia – Clay, Christa, Helen, Marie and the Cambodian workers that we had the privilege of meeting – you all touched my life in ways you can't imagine.
Richest blessings to each of you.
Ah-Koon.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Arms in the air. Toph
One of my most persistent memories is of the traffic in Phnom Penh, motos everywhere weaving in and out, each of them honking at every intersection, two to five people on each, helmets a rarity. In amongst them, every few days, there would be one with the passenger holding his arm in the air. Holding an IV bottle. Sometimes the bottle was wrapped in a black plastic bag, perhaps intending to offering protection from the sun, but in fact absorbing its heat, internalizing it. Welcome to outpatient care in Cambodia.
This is my image for the country: balanced precariously, dodging obstacles, sustained somehow despite reason, safety, and common sense. Business as usual, despite external circumstances, despite personal hardship.
Cambodia has endured so much in my lifetime—unprovoked American bombing, genocide, drug trafficking, sex trafficking, exploitative foreign investment… It’s a continual cycle, and the fact that the country persists at all is in many ways amazing. And behind it all is a culture that once created an empire that lasted five centuries, which built massive stone monuments with beautiful carvings that continue to stand, even though they were built without mortar, just stacked, liable to collapse at any moment. There’s another image of the country.
We’ve told lots of stories on this blog, but we haven’t told them all. Some are private, deep feelings that struggle to find words. Some are painful, with memories that clench our chests and make it hard to breathe until we choose to think about something else. Some are confidential, left unmentioned for issues of security. Some are sublimely ridiculous in their beauty, such as the SWAT-team efficiency of our stealth leapfrogging Presbyterians snapping photographs of pedophiles. Each of us have brought different perspectives to the stories we have told, and we have each been selective. In many of my posts, I have wanted to see hope in Svay Pak: but is this really saying something about the village, or does it just say something about me?
I know what stories I am omitting. I haven’t written about Room 8, and I’m not going to. It hurts, and it’ll be inadequate. So I always found something else to write about, and on the days I didn’t, well, I just didn’t post. But Room 8 stays with me, even though its walls have come down. I feel the hollowness inside me whenever I think of it, and I don’t feel better because it is gone. That story is just for me, I’m afraid.
Returning to life in Vancouver doesn’t involve forgetting, but it means we need to carve out a space for the thoughts we’ve had. “Did you have fun?” I am asked. “Was it a good trip?” Well, let’s see. I began to re-evaluate everything about my life and the world, and this process will likely continue. I’ve begun to realize more about human evil than I had ever allowed myself to think about before, and feel disgusted and ashamed, vicariously assuming responsibility for others. I hope to God that I emerge somehow a better person, truer to who I want to be. “Yes, fun. Very good, thanks.”
There are stories I am omitting.
The trip is over, but this isn’t an ending. Rahab’s house is beginning a new identity, and we will never know the details of what happens in the building. All we know is that we were able to make it a place that would better serve the rescued girls who offer community outreach there twice a week, better serve those who teach there, who offer medical help, who offer themselves, week after week, to improve Svay Pak. And we, who were there just briefly, who were balanced precariously, despite reason and common sense, are now holding our stories above our heads, wrapped in plastic, and letting them feed us, and give us life.
This is my image for the country: balanced precariously, dodging obstacles, sustained somehow despite reason, safety, and common sense. Business as usual, despite external circumstances, despite personal hardship.
Cambodia has endured so much in my lifetime—unprovoked American bombing, genocide, drug trafficking, sex trafficking, exploitative foreign investment… It’s a continual cycle, and the fact that the country persists at all is in many ways amazing. And behind it all is a culture that once created an empire that lasted five centuries, which built massive stone monuments with beautiful carvings that continue to stand, even though they were built without mortar, just stacked, liable to collapse at any moment. There’s another image of the country.
We’ve told lots of stories on this blog, but we haven’t told them all. Some are private, deep feelings that struggle to find words. Some are painful, with memories that clench our chests and make it hard to breathe until we choose to think about something else. Some are confidential, left unmentioned for issues of security. Some are sublimely ridiculous in their beauty, such as the SWAT-team efficiency of our stealth leapfrogging Presbyterians snapping photographs of pedophiles. Each of us have brought different perspectives to the stories we have told, and we have each been selective. In many of my posts, I have wanted to see hope in Svay Pak: but is this really saying something about the village, or does it just say something about me?
I know what stories I am omitting. I haven’t written about Room 8, and I’m not going to. It hurts, and it’ll be inadequate. So I always found something else to write about, and on the days I didn’t, well, I just didn’t post. But Room 8 stays with me, even though its walls have come down. I feel the hollowness inside me whenever I think of it, and I don’t feel better because it is gone. That story is just for me, I’m afraid.
Returning to life in Vancouver doesn’t involve forgetting, but it means we need to carve out a space for the thoughts we’ve had. “Did you have fun?” I am asked. “Was it a good trip?” Well, let’s see. I began to re-evaluate everything about my life and the world, and this process will likely continue. I’ve begun to realize more about human evil than I had ever allowed myself to think about before, and feel disgusted and ashamed, vicariously assuming responsibility for others. I hope to God that I emerge somehow a better person, truer to who I want to be. “Yes, fun. Very good, thanks.”
There are stories I am omitting.
The trip is over, but this isn’t an ending. Rahab’s house is beginning a new identity, and we will never know the details of what happens in the building. All we know is that we were able to make it a place that would better serve the rescued girls who offer community outreach there twice a week, better serve those who teach there, who offer medical help, who offer themselves, week after week, to improve Svay Pak. And we, who were there just briefly, who were balanced precariously, despite reason and common sense, are now holding our stories above our heads, wrapped in plastic, and letting them feed us, and give us life.
First Impressions of Svay Pak -- Toph
(This was my part of the Team's report back to the congregation, read this morning)
When we first turned off the highway, we entered another world. The turn was unmarked—no one comes to Svay Pak who doesn’t already know where it is. We rumbled along a dirt road and first saw the white façade of Rahab’s House. The folding metal gate, the building’s entrance, had been drawn, and the front room, clean and painted, felt receptive, with Clayton, our Aim4Asia contact, awaiting us. Inside were wooden desks, and coloured visions of Bible stories on the wall. For the first twenty-five feet, it looked fine, safe, healthy, with a wooden staircase leading to an upper floor; not like what I imagined a brothel to be at all.
I was wrong. Access to the remaining eighty feet of the building’s depth was along a thin corridor: two people would squeeze by one another if they passed. And off the corridor were the rooms. First, on each side, came the grey-white rooms, larger spaces where deals could be struck for the sale of children. And then came the pink rooms: numbered one through five along the right, and six through nine on the left. I can describe their size (about six-and-a-half-feet square, just large enough for a stained, wooden bench-bed) and the colour (a dusty pink), but neither of these describes the rooms. They were filthy; light fixtures dangling, dust and dirt everywhere, greasy cobwebs sticking to moist walls. And the graffiti, beside little flower stickers—scratches for help, with confusing messages proclaiming “I love you” over and over: Was this a script for the girls enslaved there? Or the words they had continually heard? Or a genuine cry for honest affection, from family, friends, or from God? We had no idea. Doors hung askew, wood was rotten. Behind them the cold emptiness of the cement kitchen, two fetid mosquito-infested wash-basins, and a squat pot gave way to the exit, which had been cemented over, to prevent any escape.
The weight of the evil on the place was viscous. And all this was in the dark, seen only by flashlight. We were sneezing from the dust, we were crying from the asphyxiating burden hanging over the place, and we were stumbling in the dark, both literally and metaphorically. And we weren’t alone.
Eee eee, we heard coming from the cold concrete darkness, eee eee. A few of us suspected it was a bat, and our hearts clenched at the prospect of our work before us. Eee eee. What were we doing in this place, why had we been called here, now? And were we ready? Eee eee. And that’s when we had our first little miracle: the cry in the darkness was found to be a baby kitten, trapped and abandoned by its mother, living in that building, somehow, alone. But God had brought us there at a time where we could rescue it, and give it the hope of better life and care. We had a purpose amongst those filthy, evil walls. Within half an hour, our sledgehammers had begun their assault on the remains of the brothel.
When we first turned off the highway, we entered another world. The turn was unmarked—no one comes to Svay Pak who doesn’t already know where it is. We rumbled along a dirt road and first saw the white façade of Rahab’s House. The folding metal gate, the building’s entrance, had been drawn, and the front room, clean and painted, felt receptive, with Clayton, our Aim4Asia contact, awaiting us. Inside were wooden desks, and coloured visions of Bible stories on the wall. For the first twenty-five feet, it looked fine, safe, healthy, with a wooden staircase leading to an upper floor; not like what I imagined a brothel to be at all.
I was wrong. Access to the remaining eighty feet of the building’s depth was along a thin corridor: two people would squeeze by one another if they passed. And off the corridor were the rooms. First, on each side, came the grey-white rooms, larger spaces where deals could be struck for the sale of children. And then came the pink rooms: numbered one through five along the right, and six through nine on the left. I can describe their size (about six-and-a-half-feet square, just large enough for a stained, wooden bench-bed) and the colour (a dusty pink), but neither of these describes the rooms. They were filthy; light fixtures dangling, dust and dirt everywhere, greasy cobwebs sticking to moist walls. And the graffiti, beside little flower stickers—scratches for help, with confusing messages proclaiming “I love you” over and over: Was this a script for the girls enslaved there? Or the words they had continually heard? Or a genuine cry for honest affection, from family, friends, or from God? We had no idea. Doors hung askew, wood was rotten. Behind them the cold emptiness of the cement kitchen, two fetid mosquito-infested wash-basins, and a squat pot gave way to the exit, which had been cemented over, to prevent any escape.
The weight of the evil on the place was viscous. And all this was in the dark, seen only by flashlight. We were sneezing from the dust, we were crying from the asphyxiating burden hanging over the place, and we were stumbling in the dark, both literally and metaphorically. And we weren’t alone.
Eee eee, we heard coming from the cold concrete darkness, eee eee. A few of us suspected it was a bat, and our hearts clenched at the prospect of our work before us. Eee eee. What were we doing in this place, why had we been called here, now? And were we ready? Eee eee. And that’s when we had our first little miracle: the cry in the darkness was found to be a baby kitten, trapped and abandoned by its mother, living in that building, somehow, alone. But God had brought us there at a time where we could rescue it, and give it the hope of better life and care. We had a purpose amongst those filthy, evil walls. Within half an hour, our sledgehammers had begun their assault on the remains of the brothel.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)